http://jezebel.com/380484/regis-and-kelly-remind-us-not-to-stick-foreign-objects-up-our-noses&autoplay=true (Cut and Paste into your browser to see a fun clip from show proving that only silliness exists on Regis and Kelly)
So yesterday morning I was watching Regis and Kelly again. I decided today that I am going to enter their trivia contest. I had decided not to do that because what that means is that I have to watch them every day so I can answer their trivia question about the previous day's show when they call me to give me a 7-day all expense paid holiday to one of the exotic places in the world.
Today I decided I will go ahead and register to be a contestant in their contest because I have known the answer to all their questions for the last 5 days. It's the only show I watch in the morning so I might as well get something from it besides laughter right? I registered today. I hope that one of these days when you are watching the show you will see Regis and Kelly call me and invite me to answer and win their contest.
So yesterday Regis told a hilarious story about being in a car with some important people following a very big dinner at a fancy restaurant the previous evening (Sunday). He said that one of the guys he was with ate quite a bit and about the time they got in the car to go to their next destination, this big guy started to wince and his face turned white because he was having some digestive pain down below. (I can relate to this story after having my gallbladder removed last year.) So Regis continued telling the story and said that they finally had the driver stop the car at the nearest convenience store because the man was in so much pain he was tied up in a knot. The man goes into the convenience store and about the time he locks the door to the men's rest room another car pulls up and another man gets out and RUNS in the store and heads right for the men's room. Regis is dying laughing now as he's telling the story and so was I because when he laughs I laugh; and as I said before I can relate to these guys who are heading for the men's room.
So, anyway, (as Regis tells it), sick man number 2 get to the rest room door, wiggles the door knob, LOCKED, so he pounds on the door. BANG BANG BANG!!! He yells, "Open the door! I need to come in!" Regis then hears his friend who is sequestered already in the little room yell, "I'M IN HERE! - - You'll have to wait!" Now Regis is laughing and I'm laughing and sweet little Kelly has her had back with laughter and all you can see is her skinny neck and pointy chin but her chest is heaving in laughter. Then Regis said, "Finally the door opens, and our friend comes out and sick man number 2 plugs his nose and runs in!" (By the way, this is not a story that a lady like myself should ever tell on her blog, but I just have to share! - Forgive me).
Regis said that when his friend came back to the car he was all better and that made the Regis and the other men in the car roar in laughter just seeing that the color in his face had returned to normal. They asked him if he was okay and he said, "Yeah, but that wasn't the worst of it - - - there was no toilet paper in there!". I wish you could have seen me in my Cabella's chair at this point. I can't describe how happy I was. At this point in the story Regis can hardly talk. Kelly's eyes are huge and her mouth is open and her hand is over her mouth. Kelly then asked Regis what the man did if there was no TP in the restroom. Regis - - "He used his handkerchief and had to rinse it out between wipes!" GROSSSSS!!! - - but so funny right? "Poor sick man number 2. He went in with his hand over his mouth and no toilet paper to boot!" - says Regis.
Story number 2: - Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep was the special guest on this segment of Regis. She comes out and they start interviewing her about this cute little animated movie about a family of foxes that she is in with George Clooney. They are the voices for the foxes in the family. After the interview they go to commercial and come back and Meryl is still there and Regis asks her about her family. Then he asks her about each of her daughters and he is reading from cue cards - as always. NOW - keep in minid that Regis is over 80 and his hearing and sight are starting to fail him which makes his show even more funny. Already on the show earlier he has heard things wrong or not heard them at all and gets this look of hysteria in his eyes and berates his staff (jokingly) for yelling at him from the background because he isn't sure what they've said and it panics him (but he never admits that he can't hear)you just have to love him.
So now he is reading a que card with questions for Ms. Streep. While they are talking about her daughters and what they are up to, suddenly Regis blurts out, "Well that's great; and I understand your daughter broke her leg?" Meryl AND AND AND KELLY get this look of horror and shock and they don't know what in the world he is referring to. Meryl sat up straight in her chair and said, "What,? I don't think so, at least I hadn't heard that, are you sure?!" Regis then gets a confused look on his face and the que card man comes over and handed him the HUGE BIG WHITE CUE CARD which he then read it out loud. It said, "Go to break," meaning commercial break but Regis had read it too fast and just saw the word "BREA" and for some reason surmised a Streep had a broken leg. Now Kelly and MERYL throw their heads back and all I could see were their long skinny necks and pointed chins and flying hair because they were rolling in laughter. Poor Regis! I was sitting in my Cabella's recliner and truly my face was as purple as I'd ever felt it could be. I was coughing all over again because the flue I had last week had been re-irritated re-activated from being so out of control with glee. It was almost unrighteous laughter on my part but I'm telling you anyone would have been just as purple as I was yesterday witnessing this!
Regis, please don't ever retire. You are my morning cheerful pill. I've registered for your contest now so be sure and call me. I'm your biggest fan next to Kelly and your wife Joy! I would love to win a 7-day all expense paid cruise for Dean and myself. Regis if you read my blog - here is my phone number - 435-864-7349.
Someone once said that love makes the world go round. I think laughter does and Regis and Kelly are my source for laughter every morning at 9:00 a.m.
