I've Been Reading this Book Again

A few weeks ago I was packing up some of Clay's things and found his spanish copy of "The Book of Mormon, Another Testiment of Christ" which he used on his mission in Guatemala. I sat down and opened it up and started to read from the first page of the book of Nephi. I have read this book in english more than a few times. This time as I was looking at the words in spanish, which I didn't understand, something very significant happened to me. I felt tingly all over and had a warmth in my heart that radiated out through my body. It was an amazing experience. I have had this feeling before when reading the book, but who knew I would also get the feeling while reading it in a different language that I do not understand.

I determined that I would read the book again - in English and have been doing that for the past 6 weeks every morning when I wake up and before I get out of bed. It's so nice! Today I read from the prophet Mormon's record. Mormon carried and compiled this book which had written records of many early prophets who lived in ancient America. When you read this book you can't help but believe that it has truth in it. What a great man Mormon was. I love this book. Someday I hope to be able to meet Mormon and his son Moroni who also has a written record of his travels and experiences included in the book.

When I travel, I travel with this book. I keep it close, just like I do my driver's license and my wallet and my car keys. It is an essential friend and support. If you want to read it, you can find it at any book store. I hope your curiosity will help you find this book and that it will bless you like it has me.

This Made me Happy

I found this picture on a blog I've been following. It made me smile immediately. I plan to make this cake very soon whether I have to eat it by myself or have it for special company. Yumm! Here's the website it came from. They have the most delectible things there. http://sisterscafe.blogspot.com/2010/05/cherry-chocolate-cake.html

Chocolate and cherries are my favorite right next to chocolate and mint. I get both of these insatiable cravings from my mom! She loves them too! I think she would make this cake for me if I asked her to.

I miss her alot right now. I have to hurry back to Utah so I can sit in her kitchen and talk to her and dad while she cooks for us. I know, I'm spoiled!

Signs that someone has been here.

These are the signs that someone has been here and gone. Food, beach bags, sand toys with sand still in them, watermelon eaten on a hot afternoon, luggage, a rental car, airline wings, pony tail holders, favorite cookies from our favorite bakery in Milton Florida, TUMS, new bathroom hardware installed, new tile in a newly painted laundry room installed by a kind son-in-law. All these things and more are signs that somebody was here and now they have gone.

Goodbye, my Childhood home

The kids came this month. They same to say hello and they also came to say goodbye . . to the home they grew up in.

Clay was here by himself for 9 months. He lived in our home while attending school. Two months ago, he obtained work in Alaska with a cruise line; and so he called and said, "I have to go mom." This was our signal to come, one last time. I came,and Eric and Rachel came along with their families, to say goodbye to Clay and to their childhood home. The place where they grew up loving each other and fighting with each other and most of all laughing with each other.

When Eric came back after being away for 7 years, he walked and walked and walked through the house. He said, "This feels very strange!" After the first night's sleep, it was obvious he had settled back into his childhood and the feelings connected with it. He relaxed, played with his children and his brother and with me his mom. After a day or so, he said, "I missed this place so much," (meaning this town, Pensacola), "but I'm glad I don't live here now." He has moved on. Pensacola is not how he remembered it. It's not as quiet or safe. Now he has a family and his own home where he is creating traditions and memories of his own. When he went to the beach he said, "Ahh this is nice." He spent 3 days there. Before he went back to Utah, he lovingly, methodically and patiently painted the livingroom and hallway with his brother Clay. They worked together just like they did as children. They did it with the loving care that was evident in their hearts for the place that helped to raise them into the men they are now. When Eric said goodbye to this home, for the last time and went home, he called and said, "I wish I was back!"

Clay flew off to Alaska while Eric was still here. When I took him to the airport, he hugged me hard two times and said, "I love you mama!" I'm not sure he really said goodbye to the house, but maybe he did. Perhaps he said it quietly to himself while he was painting the living room before he left. Clay says he'll be back soon for a visit. When we moved into this house Clay was 18 months old. Now he is 23.

After Clay and Eric left, Rachel came with her family. The morning after her first sleep in the house, she walked through the den and said, "Oh, I love it here!" Today she and her family left early in the morning to go home after being here for a week. She was leaving for the last time. I found her standing in the kitchen, just standing. When she saw me, she dropped her head back, closed her eyes, and the corners of her mouth turned south. I recognized the sign because it was familiar to me - - I'd seen it many times in her life. She was about to let the tears flow. I hugged her and said, "I know! It's the house and saying goodbye to it! "Yes," she said, "and that I know I'll never be back." I said, "I know, me too!"

Eric was in this house for 13 years, Rachel for 14 years and Clay for 21 years. We're thankful for the time it housed our hearts, our lives, our loves, our traditions, our dreams. We learned in this home, we cried and laughed here. We celebrated successes and mourned some losses here. This home was a place of healing on many occasions. This home helped us make decisions, and now it is helping us to move on . . sending us out into the world again. We love you sweet, dear, house - - our growing up place, our home.

This is where Dean and I were married 31 years ago in February. These pictures were taken this past Christmas while we visited Temple Square in Salt Lake City to see the Christmas lights. There were thousands of people walking through and it was freezing cold which adds to the Christmasyness of it. Our son Clay had just flown in from Florida for the holiday and he was actually following clues for a scavenger hunt that a friend of his had prepared for him. She had us running all over the Temple grounds that night. It was Freezing and oh so Fun to see Clay's face light up with each find. I think he is in love with that friend now and time will only tell how that ends up. Maybe he and she will end up here making vows to each other just like his dad and I did on a cold snowy February morning in 1979. If you hadn't noticed this is one of the most beautiful places on earth during the Christmas season.

Two Weeks! Two Months!

As I race through life recently . . . I feel like the fire ants above look. I know you can't see them, but they are there, working feverishly to build another home in my front yard.

The topic of this post is "Two Weeks! Two Months! Two Years" Why? Because my life is H-E-C-T-I-C! Yet, within this same thought is the fact that I am blessed to be able to live it, have time to live it, have FREE time to live it, and, cope with it weekly, monthly and yearly especially in the last two weeks, two months and two years.

My life has done a complete one-eighty in the last year - - TWICE! I was a full-time career gal. Then not. Then I moved to the west - Utah and established a home there and now - - back to Florida again to finalize and sell our home here. Within that time I have gone to Seattle THREE TIMES for more than a few days each time due to need to help and care for family. I have cared for parents in time of need for several weeks, and also moved in with a son and his family, except for weekends,to assist with child care for a couple of months. In between that time I have been able to reconnect with my husband who I lived across the country from for 2 years and am still trying to get back with full-time. We plan to buy or build a new home in Oak City Utah in the next year and be in and settled. When I get there, I'm not leaving the house for at least 6 months. I'm going to wake up every morning and look at my husband and say, "Good morning, it's nice to see you on this rare occasion!" Our love is strong or we would not have made it through the past 3 years of mostly seperation.

If I had kept a daily calendar of the past year, it would reflect that my life has been almost full-time helping others. It has been possibly the most fulfilling time of my life and the HARDEST and fastest passing time of my life. From may of 2009 to May of 2010, it seems like only one month has passed. Life is not worth living if it is always about you. It's only worth living if others know that you stand by ready to be there for them when they need you. Now I'm in Florida caring for ME and my house as I prepare to sell it. One last caring visit to my home of the past 20 years. In approximately 86 days I'll be heading to Seattle again to help my daughter with the arrival and adjustment of a new baby. And so life goes on . . .